im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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