I've blown a few things in my day
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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