worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
