Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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