hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize