I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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