Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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