she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
