so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
