soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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