omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
