everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
