It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
