She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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