your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize