i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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