ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
