Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
