You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
