I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
