yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
