He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
