She's like a pop up book from hell.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize