alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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