He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
