I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
