Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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