How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
