I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
