That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
