I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
