So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
