Fine. I'll sleep in my office
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
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I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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