I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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