is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
