Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
