Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
