he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is the high leading the old right now
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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