We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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