Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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