I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
