They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
