I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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