Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
