I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
