2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
