I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
