come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
