I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
