I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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