thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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