these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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