Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
