Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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