Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
