Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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